THE DIRTY WEEKEND

Discreet, distant and with no chance of soiling the marital sheets - The Dirty Weekend is the acceptable and a favorite stage of adultery and sex .
The logistics of a Dirty Weekend are quite simple: two people, a fun local and tons of sexual indulgence. Copious quantities of it! Oh, And there Has to be the element of Risk involved for it to pass for a genuine article.
Of course, this sort of carnal misbehaving requires a trustworthy partner - you don't want to be dealing with someone who has a discretion of Monika Lewinsky or Kapoostin. Mountain ski resorts like Vail, Aspen or Beaver Creek here in Colorado are doomed to be forever associated with the Dirty Weekend, though the cheap exotic Mexican beaches, Jamaica and even New York have for some time been well within weekend striking distance, if not the budjet.
Anyway, the essential element of risk and subterfuge that define a Dirty Weekend also mean excuses are needed. Getting away for a whole weekend usually demands a lie of epic proportions, and very careful thought. It should be something that will give room to maneuver if discovery is imminent and it should always have a back-up. If you happen to be the newly married English Royal , something like " I am going off to spend some time in a totally inaccessible Scottish Groft" is perfect. But for the regular dude - the most common excuse is - a weekend away with the boys ( fishing, skiing, hiking ) or business.
Once that hurdle is over - the Arena must be selected.
The grander the better. Room service is essential and a good view also sets the mood. I openly admit that a sight of strange double bed and a window full of mountain scenery does dramatic things to my romantic disposition. ..And then...and then comes the best part and what takes place is only up to the two of you, regardless of whether it takes place in a room with or without mirrored ceilings, sunken baths, Champagne or other accoutrements of sensual pleasure.
Carefull not to get greedy, cus The Dirty Weekend can give way to the Dirty Week, then The dirty Month and on and on till you've been away for a week-long "conference", a "seminar" even 'Summer long seminar"- all things that become impossible to explain to family. Keep it short, so that the only remnant of it is a smile on the face of two people - the two of you, and the memory of over-worked mucous membranes.