Клавдия Ивановна была страшная блядь.3

Я жду давно, но до сих пор вас нет. Я на диване время коротаю. В одной руке держу я ваш портрет, Другой рукой о вас мечтаю...

Texas to Europe comparison

Happy Rosh Hashanah from Pink and Rinkly! Chana Tova!

The scent of autumn - Limonov

The scent of autumn on the fields,
of royal British tea. It shields;
I place my hopes and dreams
on this liquid drawn from the streams.

I raise my cup and smile, thinking
I melt misfortune by drinking.
Because I know where bad luck goes.
And on my tracks, it slows.

Original version:

Осении запах и прерии
Чай из Британской империи
Я возлагаю надежды мои
На этого струя

Пью улыбаясь и думаю
Может убью я беду мою
Тем более знаю где и когда
Ко мне привязалась беда

Translated by Timothy Lee Roessler

Secret confessions - Affairs of my male friends

I am friends with a few great guys, all very different from each other except for one thing - they are all married and all of them had an affair or two and they ended up confiding in me about it from time to time. I am a good friend , after all, and they know they can trust me.. Ha ! HA! I have to admit that I even encouraged them here and there just for my own entertainment sake! What can I say.. Of course all of the dudes had their affairs for different reasons (bored to death with Wife is #1), in different settings and even countries, but the diet of forbidden fruit they existed on - secret meetings, trysts in quiet pubs, impossible luxuries of spending an entire night or a few days together - all of that ended up with the most Banal Mess for all involved and Banal is the key word!


Of course, it was wonderful while it lasted.
And there was always a point in the affairs of all my friends when, if they could, they would surely keep life like this forever. If they could just press a button to keep life as sweet as this for always, they would. It usually happens when you have two women and both of them happy. The first one doesn't know about the second and the second one always believes that one day she will replace the first!
But the moment passes and what you've left is two unhappy women accusing you of betrayals, laying shitty guilt trips, inflicting misery and on and on .. till The "Tragedy" is finally over and dudes learn to live without anyone ( in the best case scenario). But I am an optimist and always think of times when these guys told me how life without "each other" seemed unimaginable, how they could not give HER up (of course they could) and how much they loved her.. which, in the end, really meant less than nothing!

Roman Abramovich, the Governor of Chukotka

I don't know but I've been told
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!

pimp

."Stay Cool and Brutal. Cop your Scratch first. Don't let 'em 'Georgia' you. They'll laugh at you. They'll cut you loose like a trick after they've film-flammed you.
Your Scratch Cop is the only way to put a hook in their stinking asses."
Iceberg Slim

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

Gabrielle Chanel — was a wretched human being. Anti-Semitic, homophobic, social climbing, opportunistic, ridiculously snobbish and given to sins of phrase-making like “If blonde, use blue perfume,” she was addicted to morphine and actively collaborated and fucked Germans during the Nazi occupation of Paris. And yet, her clean, modern, kinetic designs, which brought a high-society look to low-regarded fabrics, revolutionized women’s fashion, and to this day have kept her name synonymous with the most glorious notions of French taste and élan.

Coco Chanel’s Secret War

That is what a new book By Hal Vaughan claims she was..... and After reading all this Shrooms$Berries admires the fabulous Coco even more!!! Ain't nothing like it like sleeping with the enemy!!!! Been there and done it and it feels great!!!

Joe on sax - Blues in the night

Fear of flying

It was not until I was 15 that i actually found myself inside a plane that was about ready to take off. One part of my brain was excited - I was leaving prison -the oppressive Motherland . Forever! However the other part of the brain was detached enough to register surprise and disappointment that I was obviously scared shitless. The flight was out of St.Petersburg, my hometown. The airline Aeroflot, what else?
I knew that the wings and engines of Aeroflot passenger jets had tendency to form large cracks and fall off! Whether it was this knowledge , or the shock of how flimsy the whole thing was, or the feeling of lack of control, or the appalling quality of the in-flight "catering" - Aeroflot girls not only looked like Joseph Stalin, moustaches and all, but they treated us passengers who were mainly Jews getting the fuck out of Russia as if we were enemies of the people on our way to Gulag...
Or may be it was the fact that I had no Idea what awaited me on the "other side" , I shall never know, but something snapped and I found myself enrolled as a lifetime member of the we-are-all-doomed flying phobics. I know that i am in a good company, cuz most of my neurotic friends favor the comatoze approach to flying ; usually a mixture of vodka and valium. Not me. I need to be fully awake in case we might have to disembark in the middle of ocean and the impaired senses will thwart my intention of being the first one down the inflatable ramp!
When it's time for dinner I never fail to wonder "Should my final meal in this world be the chicken or the beef?"
But anyway, the fear has never really interfered with my life or love of traveling. Each flight I take, though, I always monitor my progress. Yup, still scared shitless. I know that to show my almost total control of phobia, I will have to take Aeroflot back to Russia - I have never been back! But that's where I draw the line.

Клавдия Ивановна была страшная блядь.2

Так и прижился у неё маньяк. Оказался он мужчиной неплохим, положительным. Полочки на кухне сделал, мусор выносит, на базар за картошкой ходит. Одна беда — никак он себя как мужчина больше не проявляет. Клавдия Ивановна уж и так, и эдак: из ванны будто случайно промелькнёт, тесёмочка у неё с плеча упадёт, котлетки ему накладывает и бедром заденет. А тот только загрустит, и всё.

Однажды Клавдия Ивановна подсмотрела, как он надел старенький свой плащик на голое тело, встал перед зеркалом, распахнул и шёпотом "Ха!" говорит. Посмотрел он на себя внимательно, вздохнул, надел кальсоны и пошёл выносить мусор.

А однажды маньяк говорит: "Вы уж извините, Клавдия Ивановна, но чувствую я зов своей маньяческой натуры. Должен я немедленно пойти в рощу и кого-нибудь по-всякому изнасиловать". "Ну, меня изнасилуйте" — предлагает Клавдия Ивановна. "Что вы, что вы! — говорит маньяк. — Я вам так обязан, вы столько для меня сделали. Что я, зверь совсем, что ли?"

Скинул он кальсоны, вытащил из шифоньера плащик и ушёл.

Клавдия Ивановна весь вечер проплакала, а потом заснула. "Всё равно вернётся, — думает. — Проголодается и вернётся".

CHANEL

A woman is closest to being naked when she is well dressed

Gabrielle Chanel